living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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