so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
