I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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