clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
