I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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