PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
