ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
