What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
