did you get engaged???
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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