The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
