I'm jealous of your bromance
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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