Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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