Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
