It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
