I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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