i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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