Define "chronic" masturbator.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
