sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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