dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
