Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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