This girl is more easily done than said...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
