Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
