Who wears a wallet chain?!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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