There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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