I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Randomize
