I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
