He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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