I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
