oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
