i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Everything about him screamed your future.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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