I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
