Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
