Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
