it was like his penis was on wheels.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
