I need help removing her.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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