I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's never too late to be topless.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
