you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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