New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you win again, gameday.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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