i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
