she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
