bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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