College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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