Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Quick, to the slutcave!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
