Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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