Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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