I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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