lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
