I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
