If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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