Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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