It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
