to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
