he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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