sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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