How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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