I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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