So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
